I know you’re tempted to. I know you want to do it all. I know you want to show up at all the things looking your best. I know you want to have a home cooked HEALTHY meal on the table every night at the perfect dinner time – not too early, not too late. I know you want to make sure you exercise enough, sleep enough, and keep your house clean enough. I know you’re desperate to show up at your kids games, practices, lunches, field trips. I know you want to be the perfect spouse. The perfect friend. The perfect family member. I know how you think “hypothetically, it’s not too hard.” And I know how you feel when another day passes and you find you didn’t do it all.
But, all of this, it’s not necessary.
Having little eyes looking up to me, I know how important it is to be the best version of myself I can be. It’s not a weight carried lightly by me. I’m internally motivated by the thought of how my children will remember me. How they will remember our lives together. It is a driving force in many moments. These thoughts are often where my patience is born. But with that, there is another truth that must be acknowledged. My children still need to see me mess up. They need to bear witness to my failures. They need to see me as a human with real flaws, real emotions, so that they don’t feel as though they need to hide theirs. So they don’t feel the need to measure up. They need to hear me apologize when I’m wrong, just as they need to see me stand my ground when I am passionate about something. They need to see my strength, and they need to see my weakness.
And it’s not just the little ones in our lives who benefit from this. I really do believe that this is important for anyone around us to see. It is essential to remember that perfection is an illusion, and when you decide to show up as you are, you end up holding space for others to do so as well. Don’t apologize for the messy house, you live there. Don’t feel the need to always have your makeup on, or wear your best clothes, you deserve to be comfortable.
Being perfect means there’s a specific standard. If you’re feeling that pressure – in any situation – take a minute to think of whose standard of perfection it is. Ask if it’s truly even your standard. And then ask yourself what the benefit of reaching that standard actually is. If mastering the juggle is what will bring true joy and happiness to the short existence we are all blessed with, by all means, pursue perfection. But if sometimes it feels like you’re wasting energy and minutes worrying about how you appear, or what someone else thinks, then it is officially time to consider this truth:
Your instinct is not wrong.
Have you found ways to ditch the need to be perfect? How did you do it? I love to hear back from those who support my writing so let me know in the comments or any other way that feels right!